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Sunday, June 17, 2012
Quaich Career Statistics Show Shift In Trend
Those lucky enough to bear witness to the match play duel between Brian "Farley" Farley and Ronald "Not So Wee Ronnie" Denholm last Sunday at Ballenisles Country Club had little idea at the time that they were watching a battle of titans. Today's release of the Career Quaich Statistics shows that Farley and N.S.W. Ronnie are the new all-time points leaders for their respective teams. Both players have been on a roll, each winning 7.5 of a possible 8 points in the last two Quaich matches (2010 and 2012).
The mutual respect between the players was obvious last week in Florida.
"That was a whole lotta Ronnie out there today," said Farley after their singles match ended in a draw.
"Good God, he talks a lot during a round," said N.S.W. Ronnie. "I almost had him today. He's a great player."
The mutual respect between the players was obvious last week in Florida.
"That was a whole lotta Ronnie out there today," said Farley after their singles match ended in a draw.
"Good God, he talks a lot during a round," said N.S.W. Ronnie. "I almost had him today. He's a great player."
Sunday, June 10, 2012
USA Retains the Quaich in Epic Battle
Team USA held off a scrappy and determined Scottish team in the 2012 Quaich matches in Palm Beach, Florida. The final score, showing the USA with 11.5 points and Scotland with 8.5 points, belies the competitveness of this year's matches. After three rounds of team play, the USA held a slim 1 point lead entering Sunday's singles matches at Ballenisles Country Club. Seemingly inspired by the attention they received from American women the previous night at The Square Grouper in Jupiter, the members of the Scottish team woke Sunday morning optimistic of their chances to win back the Quaich on foreign soil. Likewise, the American team was thriving under the leadership of its driven and competitive captain, Eric "Swayze" Silagy. Swayze was observed in several one-on-one conversations with his teammates at The Square Grouper, grasping their shoulders in both hands, fixing them his well-known intense gaze, and saying, "I do not want to lose --- understand?"
The singles matches at Ballenisles did not disappoint Quaich fans from around the globe. Chris "Cudman" Van Horne delivered a critical early point for the USA by nearly holing out for birdie on the 17th hole to take down a feisty Ross "Rosco" MacCallum by a score of 2&1. Stephen "Web" Webster added to the American lead by once again proving to be Ian "Big Man" MacCallum's kryptonite by scraping together a 3&2 victory.
But Team Scotland roared back like the lion rampant on the Scottish royal coat of arms and owned the middle of the singles order, delivering points in 5 of 6 matches. Newcomer Douglas "Slicer" Brown easily took down a spent Chris "The Guvna" Hughes. The consistent game of top points producer Tony "Hef" Denson proved too much for John "Atco" Atkins. The Farley-Denholm and Milo-Riddle matches ended in dramatic fashion on the eighteenth hole where nerve-wracking 5 foot putts were the difference between a full or half point. In the end, Team USA prevailed with Captain Swayze winning the final singles match of the day against his opposite, Scottish captain Graeme "H" Wilson.
The Quaich 2012 matches will be remembered by golf fans for years to come.
Quaich 2012 Match Results
| QUAICH 2012 | ||
| (Match Winners Highlighted) | ||
| USA | SCO | |
| Friday Fourball | ||
| Silagy / Moreland | 2&1 | Wilson / Riddle |
| Webster / Farley | 2&1 | I. MacCallum / D. Brown |
| Van Horne / Milo | 5&3 | R. MacCallum / Denson |
| Atkins / Hughes | 2 up | Denholm / Redford |
| 2 | 2 | |
| Saturday Shamble | ||
| Van Horne / Webster | 4&3 | Redford / R. MacCallum |
| Moreland / Atkins | 3&2 | Denholm / Denson |
| Farley / Milo | 5&4 | Wilson / Brown |
| Silagy / Hughes | 2&1 | I. MacCallum / Riddle |
| 2 | 2 | |
| Saturday Scramble* | ||
| Van Horne / Moreland | AS | Riddle / Denson |
| Webster / Milo | 3 up | Denholm / Brown |
| Silagy / Atkins | 4 up | R. MacCallum / I. MacCallum |
| Farley / Hughes | 1 up | Redford / Wilson |
| 2.5 | 1.5 | |
| Sunday Singles | ||
| C. Van Horne | 2&1 | R. MacCallum |
| S. Webster | 3&2 | I. MacCallum |
| T. Milo | AS | K. Riddle |
| B. Farley | AS | R. Denholm |
| J. Moreland | 5&4 | M. Redford |
| C. Hughes | 8&7 | D. Brown |
| J. Atkins | 3&2 | T. Denson |
| E. Silagy | 2&1 | G. Wilson |
| 5 | 3 | |
| 11.5 | 8.5 | |
| * play suspended after 11 holes due to weather | ||
| First | Last | Points |
| Brian | Farley | 3.5 |
| Ronnie | Denholm | 3.5 |
| Tony | Denson | 3.5 |
| Stephen | Webster | 3.0 |
| Eric | Silagy | 3.0 |
| James | Moreland | 2.5 |
| Chris | Van Horne | 2.5 |
| Kevin | Riddell | 2.0 |
| Douglas | Brown | 2.0 |
| Tony | Milo | 1.5 |
| Ian | MacCallum | 1.0 |
| Michael | Redford | 1.0 |
| John | Atkins | 1.0 |
| Ross | MacCallum | 1.0 |
| Chris | Hughes | 1.0 |
| Graeme | Wilson | 0.0 |
Monday, June 4, 2012
Quaich Schedule of Events
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Optional arrival date in South Florida
Dinner -- Open
Overnight at Palm Beach Marriot Singer Island Beach Resort & Spa
3800 North Ocean Drive
Singer Island, FL 33404
Tel: 561-340-1700
Thursday, June 7, 2012
9:00 a.m. Depart hotel for practice round at Loblolly CC
9:30 a.m. Arrive at Loblolly Country Club
10:00 a.m. Practice Round – Lunch at the turn
3:30 p.m. Arrive back at hotel
Open Afternoon at Pool/Beach
5:30 p.m. Drinks at resort beachside bar
7 p.m. Private beachside BBQ
Overnight Palm Beach Marriot Singer Island Beach Resort & Spa
Friday, June 8, 2012
8:30 a.m. Depart hotel for Round 1 of Quaich 2012
8:50 a.m. Arrive The Medalist CC in Hobe Sound
9:30 a.m. First Tee Ceremony at the Medalist CC
Lunch served at the turn
3 p.m. Return to Hotel
5 p.m. Depart Hotel for Dinner at Palm Beach Yacht Club
Overnight Palm Beach Marriot Singer Island Beach Resort & Spa
Saturday, June 9, 2012
7:00 a.m. Depart hotel for Round 2 of Quaich 2012
7:30 a.m. Arrive The Bears Club, Jupiter
8:00 a.m. Round 2 at The Bears Club
12:30 p.m. Depart The Bears Club
1:00 p.m. Arrive Jupiter Hills Golf Club
Buffet Lunch at Jupiter Hills
2:00 p.m. Round 3 at Jupiter Hills – Village Course
6:30 p.m. Complete round and return to hotel
7 p.m. Arrive hotel – quick shower/change
7:30 p.m. Depart hotel for Dinner
7:45 p.m. Depart Marina for dinner cruise
Overnight Palm Beach Marriot Singer Island Beach Resort & Spa
Sunday, June 10, 2012
9:00 a.m. Depart hotel for final round of Quaich 2012
9:30 a.m. Arrive BallenIsles Country Club
10:00 a.m. Start of final Round – BallenIsles CC East Course
Lunch served at the turn
4 p.m. Depart BallenIsles for hotel
5:40 p.m. Depart hotel for drinks and closing dinner in Palm Beach
Overnight Palm Beach Marriot Singer Island Beach Resort & Spa
Monday, June 11, 2012
Check-out of Hotel
Thursday, May 31, 2012
USA Captains Seek Advice From Obama
Team USA Captain Eric "Swayze" Silagy met with President Barack Obama on Wednesday this week to discuss team strategy, playing formats and prospective pairings. Joining Swayze in the White House Situation Room for the meeting was Vice Captain Chris "Cudman" Van Horne.
"Especially during this time of economic uncertainty," said President Obama in a statement following the 20-minute meeting, "Americans are looking for sources of hope. A Quaich victory for the USA is important to the national psyche."
"I was proud of the American men's soccer team beating Scotland 5 -1 last weekend," continued the President, "I expect similar lop-sided results from our Quaich team next week."
"The President has always been a big supporter of the team," said Swayze. "He offered encouragement and good advice. We're ready to knock the Scots on their kilts."
Vice-Captain Van Horne, looking particularly heavy-set and bloated, was not as enthusiastic about the President's input. "Obama was questioning whether it was a good idea to pair me and Sheets in the drunk round on Saturday afternoon," said Cudman. "What a f***ing douche! Doesn't he know we're undefeated as a team after a few Red Bull & vodkas?"
"Especially during this time of economic uncertainty," said President Obama in a statement following the 20-minute meeting, "Americans are looking for sources of hope. A Quaich victory for the USA is important to the national psyche."
"I was proud of the American men's soccer team beating Scotland 5 -1 last weekend," continued the President, "I expect similar lop-sided results from our Quaich team next week."
"The President has always been a big supporter of the team," said Swayze. "He offered encouragement and good advice. We're ready to knock the Scots on their kilts."
Vice-Captain Van Horne, looking particularly heavy-set and bloated, was not as enthusiastic about the President's input. "Obama was questioning whether it was a good idea to pair me and Sheets in the drunk round on Saturday afternoon," said Cudman. "What a f***ing douche! Doesn't he know we're undefeated as a team after a few Red Bull & vodkas?"
 |
| US Captain Silagy in the White House situation room |
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Team USA Confident Despite Fabric's 11th Hour Cancellation
When Bret "Fabric" Baier backed out of the Quaich at the last minute, many felt it would be a set-back for Team USA. But USA Captain Eric "Swayze" Silagy acted decisively, quickly filling the open spot with Quaich veteran Tony "T-Bone" Milo.
Team Scotland was equally delighted to hear that T-Bone would be making a return appearance in the Quaich matches.
"I'll have a Dog's License waiting for T-Bone in Florida," said Ross "Rosco" MacCallum.
"Ah cannae believe Bret's out!," said Michael "Wee Mikey" Redford. "Ma heid's pure loupin' o'er the tho' of actually winnin'."
"T-Bone is no Fabric," said Ian "Big Man" MacCallum. "And everyone knows his 'complicated' love life will be a distraction for him next week in Florida."
Team Scotland was equally delighted to hear that T-Bone would be making a return appearance in the Quaich matches.
"I'll have a Dog's License waiting for T-Bone in Florida," said Ross "Rosco" MacCallum.
"Ah cannae believe Bret's out!," said Michael "Wee Mikey" Redford. "Ma heid's pure loupin' o'er the tho' of actually winnin'."
"T-Bone is no Fabric," said Ian "Big Man" MacCallum. "And everyone knows his 'complicated' love life will be a distraction for him next week in Florida."
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Quaich 2012 Match Schedule
U.S. Captain Eric "Swayze" Silagy has announced the rotation of courses for Quaich 2012. As our host, he has put together an incredible agenda. The matches will be played at a number of ultra-private courses in the Palm Beach Gardens area. Here's the run-down of what you can look forward to:
Thursday, June 7
Thursday, June 7
Practice round
Loblolly Club
 |
| Medalist Golf Club |
Friday, June 8
Fourball matches
Medalist Golf Club
Tiger Woods and Greg Norman's home course.
Saturday, June 9
 |
| MJ's house at Bear's Club |
A.M. Fourball matches
Bear's Club
Jack Nicklaus' home course. Rory McIlroy recently became a member. Ernie Els and Michael Jordan live beside the course.
 |
| Jupiter Hills Club |
P.M. Foursome matches
Jupiter Hills Club
So private that it has no public website. Some good infomration can be found here
Sunday, June 10
Singles matches
BallenIsles Country Club / East Course
Hosted the PGA championship in 1971. Qualifying course for the US Open for the last two years.
 |
| Ballenisles Country Club |
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
A Blast From The Past: Team Scotland Names 8th Man
With less than two months before the Quaich, Team Scotland announced that its eighth position will be filled by Tony Denson of Naples, Florida. A native of Newcastle, England, Tony barely qualifies for Team Scotland under the Quaich's strict country-of-birth rules. Because Tony has been a resident of the United States for years and operates his pornographic film distribution business in the State of Florida, the Quaich Rules Committee has asked for an original certificate of birth before officially confirming his participation for Scotland.
Tony is well known to fans of the Quaich. He played for Scotland in both the 2004 and 2008 Quaich matches. He will bring a career 2-4-1 record to Palm Beach Gardens in June along with a 14 handicap. "I am delighted to be called upon once again to play for Scotland," said Tony, carefully trying to cover up his acquired south Florida accent. "I bring a keen knowledge of Florida golf to my team, since I play in Naples on a weekly basis, so I expect to contribute points from day one of the Quaich."
Tony is most famous in Quaich history for the opening tee shot of the 2008 matches in Colorado. With a large gallery watching, Tony barely managed contact with the ball, which eventually skittered along the ground onto a bridge over the Roaring Fork River just in front of the tee box.
Welcome back, Tony!
Tony is well known to fans of the Quaich. He played for Scotland in both the 2004 and 2008 Quaich matches. He will bring a career 2-4-1 record to Palm Beach Gardens in June along with a 14 handicap. "I am delighted to be called upon once again to play for Scotland," said Tony, carefully trying to cover up his acquired south Florida accent. "I bring a keen knowledge of Florida golf to my team, since I play in Naples on a weekly basis, so I expect to contribute points from day one of the Quaich."
Tony is most famous in Quaich history for the opening tee shot of the 2008 matches in Colorado. With a large gallery watching, Tony barely managed contact with the ball, which eventually skittered along the ground onto a bridge over the Roaring Fork River just in front of the tee box.
Welcome back, Tony!
 |
| Tony D --- Porn King of the Quaich |
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
The Pain of '10 Still Raw for Scotland
The Scottish team will come to Americam shores in two months looking to avenge a heart-breaking loss on its home soil in June of 2010. The Scottish team has had two long years to think about what could have been. Ross "Rosco" MacCallum and Ronald "Wee Ronnie" Denholm were on a roll in 2010 going into the final singles matches at Kilspindie having won all of their previous matches. But both only managed a draw on the last day, denying their team a much-needed full point in the closest Quaich matches in history.
"I still have nightmares about it," said Rosco.
 |
| Victorious U.S. team at Kilspindie (June 2010) |
"I still have nightmares about it," said Rosco.
"If only, if only...." said Wee Ronnie, staring vaguely into the distance.
However, Ian "Big Man" MacCallum still shoulders most of the blame for the team's loss. His abysimal showing in 2010 --- he delivered only 1 point for his team ---- included a humiliating loss to Stephen "Web" Webster in singles. "I want Web mano a mano in Florida," said MacCallum. "Revenge will be sweet."
 |
| Graeme "H" Wilson, looking dazed, hands the Quaich over Chris "Cudman" Van Horne at Prestonfield House in 2010 |
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The Doctor Is In
Team Scotland announced this morning that Dr. Douglas Brown, a notable St. Andrews cosmetic surgeon, has been called up to play for his country in Quaich 2012. Douglas is affectionately known as "Slicer" because of his deft use of the scapel and his horrific left to right ball flight off the tee. The inside word is that Slicer will be playing off a 16 handicap in Palm Beach Gardens.
"I look forward to contributing in any way to a Scottish victory in June," said Slicer from his home in St. Andrews. "And I am excited about visiting the Palm Beach area which is a Mecca of sorts in my profession with all it's artificial beauty, rub-on tans and trophy wife third marriges."
"We're delighted to welcome Slicer to the team," said Scottish Vice-Captain, Ian MacCallum. "I hear he may offer a friends and family discount should any of Team America wish to enhance the rack of their spouse or mistress by separate negotiation." This comment is ironic coming from the Big Man, who hasn't seemed to age much since the Quaich began over ten years ago. He says its exercise and good living. Some of us call it Botox.
Since he won't exactly match up well against Fabric in one-on-one golf competiton, Slicer plans to take the American star off his game by consulting with him on the liposuction of his flanks and a tummy tuck. "I've only seen Bret on Fox News," said Slicer, "but can tell he needs some tightening of his nasolabial folds."
It's on! Welcome to the Quaich, Slicer!
"I look forward to contributing in any way to a Scottish victory in June," said Slicer from his home in St. Andrews. "And I am excited about visiting the Palm Beach area which is a Mecca of sorts in my profession with all it's artificial beauty, rub-on tans and trophy wife third marriges."
"We're delighted to welcome Slicer to the team," said Scottish Vice-Captain, Ian MacCallum. "I hear he may offer a friends and family discount should any of Team America wish to enhance the rack of their spouse or mistress by separate negotiation." This comment is ironic coming from the Big Man, who hasn't seemed to age much since the Quaich began over ten years ago. He says its exercise and good living. Some of us call it Botox.
Since he won't exactly match up well against Fabric in one-on-one golf competiton, Slicer plans to take the American star off his game by consulting with him on the liposuction of his flanks and a tummy tuck. "I've only seen Bret on Fox News," said Slicer, "but can tell he needs some tightening of his nasolabial folds."
It's on! Welcome to the Quaich, Slicer!
Monday, January 30, 2012
70's --- not just a good golf score
Reports coming in from Scotland are not good. In an attempt to boost flagging morale, Captain Graeme "H" Wilson hosted a 70's costume party at the weekend. As seen in this photo, H doned his favourite "huggy bear" outfit; The Riddler just wore his regular Travolta gear; and past Captain MacCallum was very poorly disguised as a bandit. At least H covered his mullet with a ridiculous hat to save the Scottish team from further embarassment.
Next week Wee Mikey plans to take the team to a swingers party after Roscoe said he needed some help with his swing....
Monday, January 16, 2012
Motivational Speaking
In an effort to improve its Quaich results, the Scottish team is putting it's leaders through a rigorous seminar in leadership and motivational speaking. Select members of the Scottish team are currently being coached by experts from the Hibernian Leadership Performance and Motivational Speaking Academy. The Academy's motto is "Conquer Fears. Overcome Obstacles. Get Results."
An anonymous source recently sent videos to The Quaich Blog of Scottish team members practicing the skills they have learned during their first few weeks at the Academy. The results are stunning.
Graeme "H" Wilson was widely criticized for failing to inspire his team during 2010's disasterous home field loss to the underdog Americans. H's attempt to rally his men with a pre-round speech in the Kilspindie locker room fell short of the mark. "A corpse has more charisma than H," said one insider who was there. "It was painful to watch." H is determined to turn things around and improve his skills; however, as the following Hibernian Academy video shows, he still has a lot of work to do.
Ross "Rosco" MacCallum will be an Assistant Captain for the Scottish team in June. He will be responsible for mentoring and encouraging the two Scottish rookies. To be effective in this role, Rosco must augment his leadership skills. While he is clearly heeding the Hibernian Academy coaches' advice to "own the stage" and "deliver with enthusiasm", Ross' distracting hand gestures in the following video could be a problem. It's hard to hear the message when you can't help but watch his hands thrashing in the air. You be the judge:
Come back to The Quaich Blog again soon for more breaking news!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Team Captains Under Intense Scrutiny
With 150 days until the Quaich, the team captains face enormous challenges. And they also face more scrutiny than perhaps any captains in Quaich history.
 |
| Neither blonde is H's wife |
On the other side of the pond, U.S.A. captain Eric “Swayze” Silagy is clearly distracted. Instead of spending time preparing a plan for U.S. victory in the Quaich matches, he’s been singularly focused on climbing the corporate ladder. It was recently announced that Silagy, age 46, is the new President and CEO of Florida Power & Light, one of the largest utilities in the United States.
A very good Palm Beach Post article on Silagy’s promotion can be found at this link: http://www.palmbeachpost.com/money/fpls-ceo-to-retire-after-40-years-successor-2041675.html. We ask that you ignore the sentiments of a certain commentator known as “FPL Sucks” at the bottom of the article. He or she is clearly not a fan of our boy.
 |
| What is he really thinking? |
While Swayze’s rise to power is impressive, it brings into question his ability to devote time to the captaincy of Team USA. “We’re all very proud of Swayze,” said one member of the U.S. team who asked to remain anonymous. “But what the f**k? Now he’ll be thinking about electricity and stuff instead of who’s the best partner for ‘The Cudman’ in foursomes. Not that it’s all about me.”
There are 150 days until the Quaich matches begin and the drama is beginning to swell.
Fairways + Greens features the Quaich
http://fairwaysandgreens.com/articles/764-an-old-fashioned-old-course-thrashin
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